Vomiting, restlessness, confusion, delirium and poor coordination? Is that a disease or a Saturday night in college?

So I'm running a bit of a fever tonight. No shock; I've had a sore throat for three days, and everyone I know has been sick, is sick, or is considering becoming sick. But it got me wondering.

What's the deal-breaker with illnesses?

I mean, when do you KNOW you're too sick to do stuff? Mine is two-pronged. I know that I'm actually sick when I have a fever. I'm a borderline hypochondriac, so other symptoms can be faked by my brain, but the thermometer doesn't lie. I take my temperature incessantly whenever I think I might be getting sick, and even more often when I actually am.

But fever doesn't stop me (sorry to those of you I've infected because of that). Last summer I went to an all-day, outdoor concert in the 90-degree Houston heat with a fever that was fluctuating from 100 to 103. Of course, it kicked me in the ass that night and the next day, spiking out at 104.3—isn't it great how high fever temperatures are like badges of honor?—and putting me flat on my back. But hey, concert tickets are expensive and Charlie Robison is hot.

No, the deal-closer for me is vomit. If there's upchucking anytime within eight hours before an event (class, work, major presentation, what have you), I get a get-out-of-jail-free-except-for-having-to-ralph card. Because vomiting is pretty much the worst experience you can have without it involving a hospital visit, I feel justified taking 8 to 10 hours of bedrest recovery.

(Un)Fortunately, no vomit yet tonight. Off to get the thermometer.