Special headwear optional for fertility rites and resurrections

Somehow, and I'm not quite sure how this came to be, Easter is the holiday of ridiculous headgear. Men are mostly free of this vile trend, but women and children get stuck wearing cutesy little straw hats with ridiculous bows that they wouldn't wear for a MILLION dollars any other day of the year. I especially despise little boys being stuck in those stupid pseudo-sailor hats. You know the kid hates it, why bother? Even dogs aren't immune.

Here is the thing. Santa hats at Christmas I can kind of understand; it's cold out (you know, if you live somewhere with seasons), the hat is stocking-caplike, it's all good. But Easter? You wear the hat to church and to brunch, neither of which takes place outside in the direct sunlight. You're just blocking people's view in church, and nobody likes a view-blocker. Hats off.