Things that will never, ever happen, list two (fictional characters edition)

Now with explanations!

Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. He refuses to waste his time with stupid people, and you gotta admire that. Also, he turns out to have a heart of gold and a HUGE mansion, which is always a plus.

Crash Davis from Bull Durham. The "I believe" speech alone is enough to get me all hot and bothered. And baseball is always sexy.

Calvin O'Keefe from Madeleine L'Engel's A Wrinkle in Time and subsequent books. He is so sweet to Meg that I can't help but love him. Highly intelligent, as well.

Radcliffe Emerson, blustering hero of The Crocodile on the Sandbank by Elizabeth Peters (check her out, if you haven't; great, funny mysteries). He's a nineteenth-century archaeologist whose nickname is "The Father of Curses." Hot.

Dr. Cox from Scrubs. I am hopelessly in love with this guy. Just the right amount of evil, and cute, too (I realize it's really John C. McGinley, but go with me on this). Curly hair is adorable, as is smirking.

Also-rans: Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H, Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing, Batman, Spock (inner geek then ruthlessly mocked until it cried), J.D. from Scrubs, and Fred & George Weasley from Harry Potter.

All right. Bring it, people.