Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Temper tempered

There's no question in my mind that I had the worst temper of my siblings and friends when I was younger. I could be seriously irrational and violent when upset, and I was easily upset—the price you pay for being a pint-sized control freak in an uncontrollable world.

I've tried very hard as I (attempt to) mature to keep my temper under control and to realize that everything that goes differently than I want is not a personal attack. In fact, I rarely lose my temper anymore, even when I should. But I still get irrationally hurt over things that have nothing to do with me personally—the weather is wrong, he doesn't like me enough, the phone hasn't rung in two days, does she have no social skills whatsoever?, and my neighbor is being too damn weird. Instead of losing my temper, however, I either lick my wounds alone, suppress, or discuss it in a rational manner. I'm almost an adult.

I had a point when I started this post two hours ago, but now…oh! Yes. Anyway. Last night this happened—my feelings were hurt, and someone's on my shit list (don't worry, it's probably not you), but I'll get over it. And, I'm not supressing or sulking in private, because I'm telling you. Best of all, I'm fully aware that I'm being retarded, and therefore I will refrain from attempting to irritate this person by expressing my grievance and making him or her fix it.

Or maaaaaaybe I'm being passive-aggressive and hoping the person will read this and fear that I'm upset with him or her, and will be extra nice to me. I wouldn't be the only grown-up in the world to use that tactic. At least I'm not hitting you.

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