Dear Sara Lee:

Imagine my shock and horror this evening upon contemplating your Iron Kids "No Crusts" bread on the shelf of my local supermarket. Naked bread, right there, where any child could chance across it and have his innocence cruelly ripped from him. The bread, boldly there, all its delicate innards on display. Have you no shame?! I am appalled, ma'am, shocked and appalled. "The crust is the best part" is not just a saying, you know! The crust has a civic duty to protect young children, the importance of which must not be underestimated. Please rectify this situation immediately; clothe your bread as it was meant to be.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Consumer