"She speaks poniards...and every word stabs."

Things I learned Saturday night from Dan and Erin, who are like the funniest people I've ever met.

When you are watching Much Ado About Nothing and Don John makes his first entrance, everybody who's even one little bit with it will say, "Woah."

If you hang out with a cadre of Erins (Aarons), they will band together and turn against you.

The definition of "bass face." (That face that white guys make when they play either bass guitar or double bass. It involves weirdly pursed lips and mostly closed eyes.)

It's okay to reference your blog in the real world. But not too often.

I am not smooth.

If you suspect your date (or the keyboardist of the band you're watching) is a Muppet, here are some simple questions to ask yourself: Is one arm tacked to his stomach, or are his elbows supported by sticks? Does she appear to eat, but actually allow food to fall to the floor? Does he have a ridiculously huge mouth with no teeth? Is there a hand up her butt?

Some foods are anathema even if they're free, including cheez curlz and those weird Oreos with chocolate filling.

Making fun of M2 is a good ice breaker.

Putting a large number of Rice alums in one place means everybody's going to have at least one awkward moment before the event is done.

As I suspected, it is weird when girls wear a skirt over pants. Or a dress over a skirt, like that chick with the super-shiny hair we saw at Brasil.

Some people are so cool that you can't possibly be shy around them.