PLEASE stop taking the liberty by being nude any more.

I know I call my downstairs neighbor "the crazy lady in 4," but I didn't think she was actually crazy. I thought she was just a little off. Now...well, I'm beginning to think I hit the nail on the head with the first swing.

I pulled into the parking lot in front of my building at a little after midnight, tired from carousing with 3M and S, and from the large amount of running around I had to do today. My headlights caught the door of Apartment 4, standing ajar as usual, with Crazy Lady peering out in the typical way of nosy neighbors. As I turned the corner to pull into my parking spot, I thought, "She's looking unusually svelte." I looked again. "As people do when they're NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHING. "

Sure enough, she was totally nude. At least I assume so; I averted my eyes a nanosecond after I figured out that the blotch of white in the middle of her chest was actually a breast. (As I've remarked before, she enjoys tanning in a deck chair in our parking lot. Good to know she's not doing it topless.)

Who opens their door when they're naked? Better yet, who greets their upstairs neighbor like nothing's going on when their naughty bits are on display? Because you know I walked past her door on my way up, just to confirm that she was, in fact, nude. And she was, my friends, she was, but that did not deter her from offering a casual, "Hi." I responded with my own "hi," walked upstairs, and promptly called M3, yelling, "Crazy lady is NUDE! NAKE-ED! Very nude! Aaaaah!"

I probably should have called Social Services instead.