I don't know who you think you are...

...but I am 22 years old and I will not be chastized like a child. I have a mother, thank you, although she doesn't stoop to guilt trips and disapproving tones of voice as a way of managing me. I am old enough to vote, drink, and acquire a handgun; I don't need to be managed. If you have a problem with my behavior, grow a pair and say so. Don't fed me a line of passive-aggressive bull, don't tell me what you "thought" I was going to do and how I've disappointed you so terribly by not doing it. Don't think: it can only hurt the ballclub.

Lord knows I step out of line and need correction on a daily basis; this past week has been proof enough of that. But seeing as you are not the Lord, better be careful how you present your case. The patronizing looks and the dulcet tones? Yeah, I've got a handbasket and an address label for them right over there. Unless I'm kicking my feet and pounding my fists on the ground, you can treat me like an adult or you can go home. I'll do the same for you; we'll all get along swimmingly, and Target (not to mention the world) will be a much happier place, lady.