Well, at least I'm not working in a mole hole anymore

Everybody kind of acknowledges that the more responsibility you have, the more stress you have. It's a directly proportional arrangement that's largely to be expected.

What people don't tell you is that the stress doesn't actually come from the responsibility; it comes from the damn confusion about what it is, exactly, that you're supposed to be doing now. And five minutes from now. And tomorrow. And what everybody on your project is supposed to be doing now. And five minutes from now. And tomorrow.

Excuse me, I have to go cry now.

All right, I'm back. See, I'm the production manager of a code book at work this summer. Being production manager basically means you help the legal manager coordinate the...production...of an 1100-page book. I'm the formatting liason for the probate code; I have to know at what stage each section of the book is and what needs to be done to get it to the next stage. I have to either do the work to get it to the next stage, prepare things for the legal department so they can do the work to get to the next stage, or tell somebody else in my department to do the work. I'm not saying I don't like to be in charge, because I think anybody who reads this will know that's a lie. But I have spent most of the past two weeks trying to hide the fact that I have absolutely no friggin' idea what the hell I'm supposed to do next. It's kind of like walking blindfolded up a staircase where the stairs aren't all the same height and there's no handrail. And maybe sometimes somebody pokes you every now and then. I know I'll eventually make it to the top, but my knees are going to be pretty damn bruised by the time I get there. Multiple contusions.

I'm not really sure what my point is here; mostly I just needed to explain that I feel very confused and uncertain lately. I don't like that, but I do like the experience. And of course, my book is going to be awesome. If you buy a copy, I'll autograph it for you.