You put the em-PHAH-sis on the wrong syl-LAH-ble.

I went to the movies tonight with M!, M3, and S, because we really only have two entertainment options: watch t.v. at somebody's house, or go to the movies. We're a creative bunch. Anyway, we saw Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, which was highly enjoyable. George Clooney is a genius in his directorial debut: flailing skis are always funny, much like midgets, pirates, and the clap.

However good the movie was, I have to say that my favorite part of all movies is the previews. When I rent a DVD, I skip the trailers and get straight to the main event, but when I go to the theatre, I want the whole shebang: the stupid commercials, the previews, and the annoying warnings to be quiet. (I like a little color commentary with my movies—especially when I'm providing it.) I hate it when people say, "Oh, we're going to be late. Oh, well, it's just the previews." It is not "just the previews"! It is the previews! If somebody made a movie that was just previews, two straight hours of three-minute blips of goodness, I would be there! I would be there on opening night, and I would see it twice. I would even pay both times.

Previews are usually all the funniest parts of the comedies, and the most thrilling parts of the action flicks, and the most dramatic moments of the serious films. You don't have to wade through plot (or worse, no plot) or wait for the pay-off; it's all right there. They're ideal for the short attention span. When they're good, they're tantalizing. When they're bad, they're laughable. It's everything I want from a movie in the perfect serving size. And no uncomfortable sex scenes, so they're largely safe for viewing with parents. (Less than 1% of trailers make it to the market with the red "restricted audience" band—instead of the usual green—in front. Those previews can only be shown with R-rated movies, and really, don't go to R-rated movies with your parents. That never ends well.)

Maybe my love of previews—of the most superficial face of movies—makes me shallow. I don't really care; I don't generally go to the movies for the intellectual nutrition; if I did, my poor brain would be starving to death. I go to class for the intellectual exercise; I go to the movies for mindless amusement, by and large. And also for the hilarity of watching M3 try to make it through a small soda by the time the movie's over. Between that and the previews, I'm a happy woman. It also probably helps that I didn't watch It's a Guy Thing tonight, unlike some people I could mention.