A rant

What is your obsession with me wearing socks? Stop oppressing me. Look, it's 65 degrees outside; I don't think it's unreasonable to wear flip-flops to school. I am not going to get another cold. Yes, I realize that I was sick over Easter, but that's not because my toes fell below an acceptable average temperature. No, that was because I drank out of my mother's orange 7-Up, despite knowing that she was ill. I was thirsty, leave me alone. Flip-flops are not going to kill me.

And on that note, going outside with wet hair has never killed anybody who lives below the Arctic Circle. I went outside with wet hair AT NIGHT when it was BELOW FREEZING this winter, and I never got sick or had all my hair break off at the root. And even if I had, it would have been sort of a blessing in disguise, because have you seen my hair?

As much as I enjoy hearing you say, "If I were your mother, I wouldn't let you go outside like that," please note: 1) you are not my mother, and 2) my mother gave up on controlling my footware and hairstyle a long time ago. So settle down.