Wednesday, November 19, 2003

And now for something completely different...

Just so you get a little taste of the fun that is life in Austria, I will now recount for you the conversation that I have with EVERY SINGLE PERSON meeting me for the first time. Ever. I'm not kidding.

Of course, you have to remember that this little joy usually takes place in German.

Erin: Hello.
Austrian: Oh, hello. You're from England, aren't you?
E: Uh, no, I'm American.
A: Oh, American! So far from home. Aren't you homesick?
E: Well, since I'm not, you know, soulless, yes, I miss my family and friends. But I'm also not five. I can spend the night away from my mommy.
A: What do you think about Bush?
E: Uh, we just met, nosy. But if you must know, I'm not a fan of him.
A: Yes, he's an idiot.
E: Hey, there, chief, I don't think you can be throwing stones *cough*Jorg Haider*cough*.
A: Interesting. Can you understand the dialect here?
E: Well, let's see. You've been talking to me in dialect for the past five minutes. So yeah, I would say I've got a decent handle on it. Or I'm shockingly precognizant, since I can predict (and translate) everything you're going to say JUST MOMENTS BEFORE YOU SAY IT.
A: That's nice. Want to come to my house for Christmas?
E: Hummana, now?

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