Even Captain Picard reads books, man

I promised my M4 awhile back that I would weigh in on the whole "e-books vs. real books" debate that's been raging between her and my dad for a good...eight months now.
You see, Sr. Birdman has a PDA. He uses it to take notes, do work, and read books, so it's in his hand all the time. He wrote a column for his newspaper extolling the virtues of reading e-books, saying that reading from a PDA is a better sensory experience than reading a book. He says the light coming off the PDA is a nice glow, and tapping a stylus is as satisfying as turning a page. And that he's saving paper and his eyes.

So my dad's a cyborg, more or less—his PDA seems to be permanently attached to his hand. I'm sort of nervous that one day I'm going to pick up the phone and hear his voice monotoning, "You will be assimilated," because that seems to be his attitude. He thinks that the whole world will eventually be converted to the joys of the PDA, which he regards as an invention on the level of Gutenberg's moveable type printing press. I think he called my mother a troglodyte at one point, saying she was just resisting change out of stubbornness.

Dad? I love you, but no. No, no, no. Your arguments don't hold any weight. Except maybe the one about M4 being stubborn, but that's another story (all I have to say is, microwave much?).

First, the paper argument. Leaving aside the irony of hearing this from somebody who's worked his entire life for one of the largest paper-consuming industries in the world, the paper "savings" of a PDA is only nominal. It's not like paper books are disposable. I don't read them and throw them away, and I don't think very many people do. Librarians around the world cringe at the idea of books being a waste of paper. And any paper "waste" is far out-weighed by longevity; I suspect that my paper books will outlast your fragile electronic device by several lifetimes.

[One argument I will buy (that Sr. Birdman actually didn't make) is that e-books save space. Great, if that's your goal—I personally like to have books around to take up space and clutter things up. It makes me happy and the dust less noticeable.]

Second, the sensory experience. To me, there's nothing colder than reading things off a screen—and I probably spend about 50 hours a week doing it, so the differences are crystal clear. The feel of plastic can't compare to that faint roughness of ink on paper or the flop of a book falling open to its best part, and the tapping of a stylus doesn't equate to the rustle of pages. And a PDA doesn't provide that satisfying smell of paper and glue and ink that ages as the book does—crisp, fresh, almost sharp when the book is new, gentler and mustier when the book is older—more reflective of its owner and travels. E-books don't take that sort of impression. There's no sense of history; just a soulless collections of ones and zeros that resolve themselves into flat words on an even flatter screen.

The eyesight-saving argument? Last time I asked my optometrist, she said reading with proper light doesn't hurt your eyes at all, regardless of what you're reading. Unless it's like, radioactive letters or something, I suppose. Turn on a lamp and don't use plutonium for ink. Problem solved.

So I'm not seeing much advantage to the PDA, here, and I never will. Yes, the PDA is more portable than an armload of books, but the selection is vastly more limited. I'm not going to get my thesis books in e-book format, and even if I could, I couldn't take notes in them like I can with paper books (don't worry, librarians, only in my own books). Even if you want to get right down to the sheer physicality of it, books are more useful—doorstops, paperweights, bludgeons, and interior decoration.

So settle down, Three of Five; I'll stick with my old-fashioned paper books. You should go talk to M4 about a bread machine, though.