Things that will never fail to make me laugh:

The beginning of “Easy (Like Sunday Morning)” where the singer says “Bring the lights down…this is for all the ladies in the house,” in this pseudo-pimp voice

The fat bird/fat guy comment my brother made five years ago, as recounted by me

Jim Gaffigan’s manatee voice

When Tex forwards me emails with his own sarcastic comments added at the top

My students’ inability to differentiate between w and v

The bit at the end of Pirates of the Caribbean where Johnny Depp says, “Well, I think we’ve all reached a very special place here: spiritually…ecumenically…gramatically.”

Bobble-head Jesus (especially the one at JMP, who has a Cornhuskers sticker on his toga-thing and is constantly trying to convert our bobble-head Houston Rockets)

My mom when she complains about the Bedazzler her mother got her for Christmas at some point in the eighties

Applying the phrase “cheese-eating surrender monkeys” to the French

The fact that some words in German can have three of the same letters in a row since the new writing reform. Example: Schifffahrt (boat ride).