Proof that the internet is, in fact, an addictive substance

As I write, at this very moment, I am walking on my treadmill.

I know. I'm the coolest person ever.

The story of me and the computer and the treadmill isn't particularly interesting; it just involves extreme boredom while exercising on my part and an excess of loose lumber on my apartment's, plus inspiration from this article that my mother sent me. See, my father built me a makeshift bookshelf a few years ago that was dismantled when I moved and never reassembled because my current apartment has built-in bookshelves. So I have five damn heavy pieces of six-foot particleboard just lying around. Plus, I own a handsaw.

So, I sawed a piece of particle board in half and laid it across the hand-holds of my treadmill. Okay, that's simplifying a bit to make myself look less stupid. What I actually did was lay the six-foot piece of particleboard across the hand-holds and kind of let that sit for a couple of days because I was lazy, but I was mildly afraid that one of the cats was going to jump up on it, walk out to the unsupported end, and then kill herself by tipping it over, concussing her head on the nearby doorknob, and then being decapitated by the end of falling board. So I decided to cut the particleboard. That was an adventure in itself, as I'd never actually sawed anything, but I managed to get it done and retain possession of all my fingers. I decided that sawing things is far easier than nailing them, so I'm going to do it more often. Look out coffeetable.

After that, it was just a matter of buying a longer LAN cable (we're not all fancy and wireless around here) and going to it, which is, as I said, what I'm doing right now. I'm going a little over two miles an hour, which surprisingly has little effect on my (already questionable) typing. The mouse skills are suffering a bit, but it's not like my every click might launch a bomb. I'm not playing Minesweeper.

Will this mild bit of DIY genius actually contribute to any improvement in my health? I don't know, but if it can make me less resistant to the damnable treadmill, it's worth a shot. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get off this moving band and go saw myself a shorter bed.