Although the Diamond Shamrock All-Stars might suggest otherwise

I think I'm not really attractive enough to live in my neighborhood.

I went to the laundromat tonight, where Tuesday is evidently Hot Guys Night. Multiple hot guys came into the laundromat while I was there, some to pick up dry cleaning, some to do eight bazillion loads of indeterminate color. (Is this a guy thing, the not sorting?) There was even a quasi-striptease, as one of the hot guys decided his shirt was dirty and needed to go into the wash, as well. He was wearing an undershirt underneath, much to the disappointment of everyone in the room. (Yeah, I'm pretty sure the other Hot Guy was actually a Hot Gay, but whatever.) I had a few nice little fantasies that generally ended with imagining myself saying, "Yes, I met your father at the laundromat—we were both using Cheer Dark, you see...." I stress fantasy, though, because these guys were far too good-looking to even contemplate talking to.

After I finished my laundry, I stopped off at the nearest Kroger, which my friend H. calls the "Beautiful People" Kroger. She's not wrong. It's constantly full of people that are above-average attractive. And I would say the demographic skews young, too, so there's always the potential of bumping into a looker while you're both reaching for the instant breakfast or Ramen or whatever. Unfortunately this has never happened to me, and not because my spatial perception is particularly acute. The only time I've been stopped in Kroger was because some guy wanted to ask about my T-shirt. (It was for my brother's alma mater and he had evidently played college there back in the day...yeah, I don't know).

I don't know what the situation is in the neighborhood bars, but I suspect it's more of the same. I know the restaurant across the street from my house is constantly full of gorgeous guys, because I can see them going in and out from my front windows. Unfortunately, I'm stuck in this lease, so I can't move to somewhere where people are of comparable cuteness. Like Hoboken.