God reads this blog

Early last month, I wrote about church names in Texas and how they're just not okay, really. It amused me, which is usually about the limit of amusement, unless I write something about the cats for Jane. Anyway, I wrote the post and forgot about it until I got this email last week:

We were sitting here trying to come up with a name for our new, NJ church and started rummaging through the internet and found your posting of December 4 last. Being church people we laughed out loud (thanks!) at ourselves and how our church names our perceived by others---at least by one other---you. And we think you represent many others. What kind of name would you suggest for a non-catholic bunch who don't want a religious name? Sure would appreciate a suggestion or two---we're sensitive clergy so be kind---chuck

I was thoroughly delighted. I mean, you know how I love being asked for advice. Love love love. That is because I am a bosser who likes bossing people around.

Anyway, I don't know if you've ever tried naming a church, but it is not easy, my friend. I feel like giving the Texas weirdos a little more leeway, except no. "Church on the Move?" That's just weak.

Chuck didn't make my job any easier, with his "non-catholic, non-religious" requirements. No "St. Bonaventure?" No "Christian Church of Christ?" You're killing me here. My co-workers were no help, either. Most of their suggestions involved some sort of slang, including "First Church of Jesus Is Cool." (In that case, I think they would be the actual first church of that. Which is something, I guess.)

Anyway, I took some time to ponder (and, if we're being honest, to bask in the enjoyment of being asked what I think is best), and then I wrote Chuck back. Here is what I said:

Chuck-

You totally made my day with this email. I'm so glad I could make you laugh.

Of course, now I realize that naming a church is hard, and maybe that's why so many go astray of the sensible values we embrace in Nebraska. I don't know. One of my co-workers suggested "Rockin' Toward Rapture," which might charm teenagers, but is probably otherwise unappealing. Oh! It might be good if you've got a really oustanding gospel choir. Or it might attract a really outstanding gospel choir. Things to consider.

More seriously, I do have one sort of general suggestion that might spark some ideas for you. You didn't mention which religion your church is, which got me thinking about how, regardless of denomination, church is really about one thing: community. It's a community of believers who get together to support one another and strengthen each other's faith. It's very hard to have faith when you're all alone. So if you don't want an overtly religious name, that's what I'd focus on--the togetherness of the community. Something simple like Fellowship of Faith emphasizes both aspects and keeps you from sounding like an Elks lodge.

Anyway, I hope this helps. My core advice is something my father likes to tell me: "You've got to KISS--Keep It Simple, Stupid." It always makes me laugh, but the man has a point.

I'd love to hear more about your church when you decide on a name. In the meantime, I'll be praying for you, and, unless you object, probably writing about you on my blog because I thought your email was so great.

Happy New Year!

Erin

I don't know if this is good advice, nor do I know if Chuck and his flock have decided to take it. I hope I helped them. And I hope I don't have to hear about "Chuck's Fourth Church of Bein' Awesome" any time soon.

P.S. My dad wrote a column in his newspaper about this experience after I sent him the email from Chuck and my response. So that's kind of cool. Too bad he didn't include my blog address so I could up my readership from four relatives, two friends, and a pastor in New Jersey to four relatives, three random strangers, two friends, and a pastor in New Jersey. And a partridge in a pear tree.