About the cats, for Jane

Things my cats do that annoy me (excerpt from a running list):

Pick earrings out of my jewelry box and throw them on the floor
Run under the treadmill and get gunk on their heads which dries into a matted hard lump that leaves a bald spot when I pull it off
Knead my boob at 6:30 a.m.
Swat the measuring cup full of cat food when I'm feeding them so that the floor is littered with kibble
Stand on the laptop keyboard, particularly the "Esc" key, which closes whatever I'm working on and makes the computer beep in way that I can hear but they, evidently, cannot
Drool
Pull down the bunny ears on my t.v. so I lose reception on whatever I'm watching
Knock the papasan chair off its stand, and then walk away as if nothing's happened
Lick my fingers when I'm not paying attention (v. creepy feeling, actually)
Chase my pens when I'm writing, causing me to make big jerky lines across whatever important document has to be mailed to the IRS like, yesterday