The only drug dealer I've ever had a problem with wears a white lab coat

So CVS is taking over the world. For those of you that live in an area that hasn't been invaded (like, say...France. Oh, wait, France = invasion, always. Okay, Pola—...Russ—...Antarctica), CVS is a ubiquitous pharmacy that bought out Eckerd last year and now you can't turn around without smacking into one. In the past year they've torn down an excellent gas station to put up a CVS, as well as a marginal gas station over by the freeway, and we suspect my mechanic's garage died to bring us still another CVS. There are three CVSes within walking distance of my house, which, in Houston, is saying something.

You can tell when they're putting in a CVS, too, as Mary pointed out when my mechanic's garage was sacrificed. It's something about the lot size and layout, I don't know, but it's very clear when one is going in. And you can kind of calculate based on how far the lot is from the nearest CVS. If the distance is greater than three blocks, it increases the chances like, 400% that it's going to be a CVS.

This is not to say that I have a particular problem with CVS; I don't. The last prescription I ordered was filled competently, although the chick didn't call me like she said she was going to. Every CVS I've ever been in is clean, well-lit, and at least passably organized. About the only complaint I have is that their greeting card selection is for crap, but since I buy a card approximately once in never, it's not really a problem. I just think it's odd that they're springing up everywhere.* Like, is there some sort of Faustian deal in effect? Perhaps the same one that Sam Walton signed?

I mean, really, the CVS thing is just symptomatic of Americans' extreme laziness. "I can't be expected to drive THREE BLOCKS for a tube of lipstick! I'd rather use this red crayon! Mmm, waxy!" Either that or it's a sign that Americans have very strange and very dire medical issues. "My face is sliding off my skull! I need medication NOW!" If this latter is, in fact, the case, can someone let me know? I'll stake out the CVS pharmacy counter with a camera for that sort of entertainment.

^{*As an aside, I called Krispy Kreme "the CVS of the doughnut world" last week. I thought it was an apt comparison, because when was the last time you saw a Dunkin' Donuts (Boston excepted)? I think Krispy Kreme bought them. Eckard's is to CVS as Dunkin' Donuts is to Krispy Kreme. I could write the SAT.}