Following up the gross with the random

I got a new computer at work last Monday, which was totally exciting because I didn't think I was going to get one of the five new ones they'd ordered for our department. But I did, so yay! The best part of this computer is that it came with a flat-panel monitor that I turned on its side so I could see an entire page of whatever book I'm working on. The worst part of this computer is that I can hear its parts whirring and clicking at odd intervals, and I know the randomness of it is going to make me have a psychotic break and go screaming out of the building at some point this summer.

This is a rule: if you have new clothes, you must wear them as soon as possible. I don't know why, but this is clearly true. If you don't wear them on the first appropriate occasion, clearly you didn't need to buy them. If you don't understand this rule...you're probably male. (Oh, please, that's not even my joke. One of the girls at work came up with it.)

Did you know the vividness of your dreams is linked to your menstrual cycle? (Clearly this is less applicable for guys.) I have no scientific evidence to support this (only some fruit loopy websites), but it made perfect sense when a coworker told me that after I explained to her that I'd been having really intense dreams for the past couple of days. I realized this does actually happen about one week out of every four or five. They sort of culminated last night in dreaming that my mother had died, which is my last recurring dream left over from childhood. The other one that I remember clearly: that my parents had left us with our babysitter Tara and the basement had turned to pools of lava. (Liquid hot magma.) We had to get out and it was scary. I think this dream was brought on by the combination of Fire Safety Week at school and a concurrent study of the Ring of Fire. Did anyone else have fire trauma? It seems like it was fairly common among my friends. Smokey was more threatening than comforting, I think.

If you eat pizza-flavored items (chips, goldfish, jerky, whatever), you are not an adult. This is true. I'm having pizza-flavored Pringles right now.

Does anybody want to play 1000 Blank White Cards with me? If so, let me know and we'll kick it at the Walabama Ice House.