Dear Austrian Males of a Certain Age (Namely, 13-19):

I don't know who told you it would be a good idea to style your hair as if you have a duck sitting backwards on your head, but it's not. That point of hair in the middle of your forehead makes you look like a refugee from Mork and Mindy.

Knock it off immediately, or I'll be forced to confiscate your hairgel.

Fondly,
Erin