• never-never mind •

2010-09-28T21:32:00.003-05:00

Banoffee Ice CreamHeavily adapted from around the internets4 very ripe bananas1 can sweetened condensed milk2 c. heavy cream1/2 tsp. salt1 tsp. vanillaPlace unopened can of sweetened condensed milk in sauce pan. Cover with water; bring to a boil and then simmer gently for 2 hours to make dulce de leche. Place all ingredients in blender (may require two batches). Blend thoroughly. Freeze, stirring

2010-09-04T11:18:00.003-05:00

This is the ENORMOUS (like, at least 3" tip-to-tip) and frightening spider who has moved into the mint plant on my patio, probably because God does not want me to enjoy a delicious mojito. As far as I can tell, it never moves from the exact center of that web, but I know it's alive because some days there are bugs caught in the web and then the next day or so they will be gone. Unfortunately all

2010-09-01T21:52:00.004-05:00

Mango SorbetI don't know if this recipe works yet, but I wanted to write it down before I forgot, in case it does.3 ripe mangoes, peeled, pitted, and cubed3/4 c. Naked mango juice2 tsp. lime juice3/4 c. sugar1 tsp. vanilla1 c. heavy cream1/2 tsp. cardamomCombine all ingredients in blender and purée until creamy and fluffy. Pour into airtight container and freeze for at least 8 hours, stirring

2010-08-21T20:35:00.004-05:00

Delicious Tomato Soup of Extra DeliciousnessServes 2ish4 large ripe tomatoes1 small-medium yellow onion1 small green bell peppergarlic powdersaltpepper1/2 c. olive oil1/2 c. basil leaves, washed and dried1/2-1 c. chicken brothHeat oven to 450°. Slice tomatoes into quarters and core; cut pepper and onion into large pieces. Arrange on baking sheet and season to taste with garlic powder, salt, and

2009-12-29T19:06:00.003-06:00

KäsespätzleMakes one 9"x13" casserole4 c. + 4 tsp. flour4 eggs1 tsp. salt~1 c. milk2 onions2-3 c. cheese of your choice (Emmenthaler is traditional)pepper to tasteChop onions into rings and carmelize. Mix together first four ingredients into a batter, adjusting milk until batter resembles a very thick pancake batter. While batter rests, heat a large pot of water to a boil and grate cheese if

2009-08-06T15:37:00.002-05:00

On WritingI started writing my dissertation this week. It sounds very grand, at least in my own mind, but I've written 6 pages so far, and even though three of them or more are cribbed from an earlier essay, they've been a struggle, every word.I can't tell if there's a problem with my process or if it's just one of those things. I know that there's certainly much to feel uneasy about: I start

2009-02-01T23:34:00.004-06:00

Recipe: Bacon-Leek QuicheI do not like bacon, but I like quiche, so. If I make this again I will probably substitute mushrooms for the bacon and add more leeks because they are seriously delicious, but some people are fanatical meat-eaters. Zucchini could be good too, I suppose, or possibly even cauliflower, although not, I would guess, broccoli. Maybe new potatoes?1 recipe buttermilk pastry4

2008-03-21T22:56:00.002-05:00

Update, Somewhat Later than ScheduledSo obviously my plan to do a daily/near-daily update of comps progress, including a page count, fell by the wayside. It's probably just as well, as there's something of a disparity between the number of pages the books have and the number of pages I read.But I marked a little milestone today; I wrote my 13th annotation, which means I'm over 1/3 of the way

2008-02-10T23:30:00.000-06:00

Hm, it's been a whileBut I have, of course, been reading.Pages Read: Uh...let's see. 265 of Bede, 30 of "Parlement of Foules," 190 of The Tempter's Voice. I think I'm forgetting something in there somewhere, but that's what, 485 pages? Eh.Pages written: SomeOther things accomplished: I met with my historical-list adviser on Friday to talk about what I'd read thus far and just generally check in.

2008-01-31T21:55:00.000-06:00

Comps UpdateRead: 3650 lines of Castle of Perseverance (I don't know, 60 pages or so?), plus 70-odd other pages (40ish of Beryl Smalley's magnum opus, The Study of the Bible in the Middle Ages, and 32 pages of the Venemous Bede's The Ecclesiastical History of the English People, which is proving suprisingly readable).Wrote: Finished an annotation, couple of pages of notes on CoP, and a bit on

2008-01-26T23:36:00.000-06:00

Comps UpdateI worked with Lindsey from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. (with a few breaks for meals and griping here and there) today, so totals look better than usual. Amazing how having someone else with you makes you quit jacking around, if only for appearance's sake.Pages read: 130. (Finished Brian Murdoch's The Medieval Popular Bible: Expansions of Genesis in the Middle Ages. Extremely well-supported

2008-01-26T00:05:00.000-06:00

Comps UpdatePages read: ~85 (Chapter 2 of BIME [total slog] and Intro-Ch. 2 of Medieval Popular Bibles)Pages written: ehOther tasks accomplished: Student evaluations read and 1/2 responded to, plagiarism quiz graded, job talks attended.

2008-01-25T14:02:00.000-06:00

Highlights from Student EvaluationsI had some particularly extreme classes last semester, so I knew student evaluations were going to be especially delightful this go-round. Man, I was totally right.Critical Comments [My response in brackets.]"Felt like there was one main interpretation for everything that everyone was supposed to get out of the material & I didn't understand the title of the

2008-01-23T23:20:00.001-06:00

Comps Update (for the past few days)Pages read: ~65 (Deplorably few. Working on Biblical Imagery in Medieval England; also read an essay on historicity in medieval biblical exegesis that was interesting if excessively theoretical)Pages written: like, half an annotation on aformentioned essay and a page of notes on BIME?Other stuff accomplished: turned in draft of article to article director for

2008-01-17T21:58:00.000-06:00

Comps UpdatePages read: ~40 (finished Le Goff's The Medieval Imagination, which was marvellous and strange, started Biblical Imagery in Medieval England, 700-1550, which promises to be equally good if quite different)Pages written: <1 (eh.)Other tasks accomplished: Syllabus completed, decided topic and found secretary for M/MLA panel I'm chairing in November, sent various academic e-mails, dealt

2008-01-14T21:41:00.000-06:00

Comps UpdatePages Read Today: ~65 (35 historical, 1 article for special interest)Pages Written: 3 (1 annotation; 2 pages of historical list notes)Other work accomplished: 45 minutes studying Old Norse, meeting scheduled with article advisor

2008-01-14T21:34:00.000-06:00

It's about to get boring up in hereOn the off chance a stray person wanders by due to some extremely bizarre Google search, I'm going to start using this as a way to track my progress as I study for comprehensive exams in September. Hopefully. If I don't get bored of it.

2007-09-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

Go, litel boke! go litel myn tregedie!Exciting news: my paper was accepted for a panel at the 2008 Medieval Congress, the largest and most important American medieval conference. So come May, I'll be delivering the conference version of the paper I worked my ass off for all summer: "A Lot to Consider: Rereading Sodomy, Space, and Salvation in Cleanness," which deals with a fourteenth-century

2007-09-15T17:56:00.001-05:00

Lemon CurdAdapted from Mark Bittman's recipe in How to Cook Everything.Zest of 5 lemons2 c. lemon juice3 c. sugar1 1/2 c. butter9 eggsCombine zest, juice, sugar, and butter in a saucepan. Cook over low heat, stirring occasionally, until sugar is dissolved and butter is melted. Beat eggs and add slowly to lemon mix. Increase heat to medium low and stir constantly until mixture thickens, 10 to 15

2007-08-27T16:37:00.000-05:00

Bobby:There is a guy at my local Panera who looks like he could be your twin brother, for serious. It is weird.

2007-08-22T18:01:00.001-05:00

Basil Pesto2 packed cups fresh, washed basil5 cloves garlic, crushedHandful toasted pine nutsSome salt1/4 c. extra virgin olive oil plus an eyeballed 1/4 c.Fresh grated parmesanClean and destem basil. Combine basil, garlic, pine nuts, salt and 1/4 c. olive oil in blender. Process, stopping occasionally to scrape down sides and to adjust salt. Add more olive oil until pesto reaches desired

2006-10-24T22:07:00.000-05:00

Hopped Up on Immunoglobulin, or No Good Deed Goes Unpunished by a Shot in the AssMy mother says you learn something new everyday. What I learned today is that you should never try to put a stray cat in a box, no matter how friendly they seem. I also learned that the modern rabies vaccine is a literal pain in the ass.On our weekly walk-and-gossip session, my two friends and I ran across a small

2006-10-16T22:16:00.000-05:00

I'm so putting that second one on a T-shirtAwesome commentary I received when I gave my students an evaluation about what I should take off the syllabus next semester:"Titus Andronicus — not one of Shakespeare's best""Pride & Prejudice — a book about marriage? Come on, nobody cares.""Poetry — poems are the most worthless form of writing"Awesomer yet: all from one kid. Whose handwriting I

2006-09-30T23:25:00.001-05:00

Erin's Recipes for People Who Can't Cook: Pumpkin CookiesThis is a great recipe for fall, and also for the indecisive. The original recipe calls for 1 cup of pumpkin, but seriously? Pumpkin comes in two-cup cans. The solution seemed fairly obvious to me, and now I have 6 dozen cookies. Whatever. Guess the department will be receiving some bounty on Monday.2 c. canned pumpkin (one 15 oz. can)1 c.

2006-09-19T00:22:00.000-05:00

I can't give you a grade when I've never seen your work, childI realize I should be in bed right now, dreaming the dreams of good little English teachers, but I doubt it's going to happen that easily tonight.It's been kind of a hellacious day, and I blame students. Or rather, one specific student, who is, thankfully, no longer mine, but an ulcer-provoker nonetheless. I'm sure 90% of the people I

2006-09-18T00:02:00.000-05:00

"He eventually drowned and that ended his life."The above gem from a response paper on "Not Waving But Drowning" by Stevie Smith.So I've been teaching General Literature for a month now. It is, of course, a continual rollercoaster between wildly enjoyable and deeply depressing, but in general things are going quite well, and I am actually pretty good at this, I think, except:1. I cannot

2006-07-05T19:07:00.000-05:00

Latin Words I Have Learned This Weekhasta, ae, f. (spear)ferrum, i, n. (sword)ignis, ignis, m. (fire)finis, finis, m. (end)vulgus, i, n. (rabble)ultra (on the other side, beyond)tollo, tollere (to lift up, destroy)Great. Apparently I'm going to be translating the Book of Revelations next week.

2006-07-04T14:44:00.001-05:00

Erin's Recipes for People Who Can't Cook: Potato Salad InterludeMy dad once infuriated—infuriated—E3 by announcing that no matter what she did, he would never like something she had made as well as he would like the same dish made by my mother. This is not to say that E3 is bad in the kitchen—in fact, all four of the E's have decent, if wildly divergent, culinary skills.In some ways, however,

2006-06-14T00:09:00.000-05:00

How I know you're an all-starAll-star is the derogatory name my friends and I used for the annoying kid in every class who thinks he knows everything. "Swot" is the British term, "suck-up show-off jackass" is a good alternative. These are the clues I used to identify the all-star in my Latin class this summer.1. You have hipster glasses. Not a smoking gun, but definitely suspicious. Especially

2006-06-13T23:47:00.001-05:00

Erin's Recipes for People Who Can't Cook: Aunt Jessie's Psuedo-Healthy Bran MuffinsWhen we were in Washington last month, my Aunt Kathie made these for us, and gave me the recipe, which came to her from her husband's aunt Jessie. It is what Kathie calls a KISS (Keep It Simple, Sweetie [Kathie is a nice person and doesn't like to call others stupid]) recipe.1 1/2 c. sugar2 eggs1/2 c. + 1 Tbs. oil2

2006-05-25T23:53:00.000-05:00

Go outside and eat your weight in mosquitoes! Make us both happy.Did you know that I am afraid of bats? Not in a neurotic, irrational way, but in a "if one is dive bombing me in my bedroom at 3 a.m., I am going to lose my shit" way.That totally happened last night, and I did, in fact, lose my shit. I don't know how the bat got into the house, but it's not a particularly freakish occurrence—we

2006-05-05T23:58:00.000-05:00

Notes from finals week—Is there any nutritional value in dilly beans? I hope so, because they're the only green things in my diet right now. Unless you count green Skittles, which I suspect aren't getting the RDA of anything but Yellow No. 3.—I turned in 16 books to the library this evening. That was all the ones I had out for my Shakespeare paper. I checked out 5 more, leaving me with a grand

2006-04-29T01:30:00.001-05:00

You totally want me to be your professor, don't you? Rowr.I just finished writing my course description for the class that I'll be teaching next year, one of the university's required classes for non-English majors. It's basically an introduction to literature; the equivalent of Huma 101 if you went to Rice and need a reference point. I thought I would share it so you can be jealous of my

2006-04-14T14:43:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately, a house did not fall on that irritating kid in my calligraphy classSo yes, for those of you who don't watch/read the news, a tornado did hit Iowa City last night, taking out a Dairy Queen, a Happy Joe's Pizza, and the roofs of several buildings including St. Patrick's Catholic Church.I, fortunately, was in Coralville at the time, watching Big Trouble in Little China with friends

2006-04-08T13:42:00.000-05:00

Think of the noodles!So I was hosting a prospective graduate student earlier this week, which basically entailed spending $100 of the department's money on dinner and making sure she got all her questions about grad life answered, more or less. We went to my favorite Thai restaurant for dinner, along with a few of my colleagues/cohort/friends (we wear many hats) from the department. Discussion

2006-04-02T23:43:00.000-05:00

Also, men who don't own a fairly sizeable drill. Freudian of me, I know.So this is sexist and sort of irritating of me, but it's also true, and so I will tell you.I can't really respect men who can't drive stick shift. (That is not a euphemism, by the way.)I mean, you know, not really. Like I don't correlate it with cheating on your taxes or being stupid. I just find it weird, like if someone

2006-03-18T18:00:00.000-06:00

Preferred sleeping positions: cats vs. girlIn order of preference: 1. Me in center of bed, cats out of earshot 2. Me in center of bed, cats at end of bed 3. Me on right side of bed, cats on left 4. Me in center of bed, one cat in front of stomach and one cat behind knees (rolling over no longer an option) 5. Me in center of bed, cats making noise in hallway 6. Me in center of bed, cats fighting

2006-03-11T00:40:00.000-06:00

Weird things from my seminar on medieval gesture and emotion:1. Did you know people used to use Psalm 108 (109, for the non-Vulgate readers among you [i.e., Protestants]) to pray people to death? Apparently, recite it every day for a year and a day, and the person you hate will drop dead. Vicious.2. The book I ordered for this class last week: Images of Lust: Sexual Carvings on Medieval Churches

2006-03-02T00:08:00.000-06:00

Stupid injuries I have sustained lately:1. Bruise on left foot from putting chair leg down on it2. Scald on inside of right index finger from grabbing spout of teakettle instead of handle3. Bruise on knuckles of left hand from slamming in shower door 4. Goose egg on forehead from hitting it with car door (admittedly, this happened almost a year ago, but it was extra stupid so I'm including it)5.

2006-02-22T16:10:00.000-06:00

Survey for NerdsI'm writing a paper on Much Ado About Nothing for my Shakespeare class, and I have two quick questions for the two of you who are still reading this thing.1. Do you think Margaret understands the implications of her behavior when she appears at Hero's window with Borachio?2. Does the fact that Kenneth Branagh has no upper lip bother anybody else?

2006-02-13T22:53:00.000-06:00

Guess what? You're not the boss of me; I'll blog when I damn well want to. Or whatever.Okay, I am fully not dead at all. My new year's resolution was to be less susceptible to guilt, and therefore I decided to give myself a month (or so) off from blogging. Or I couldn't think of anything to write. And apparently my Toshiba had the same resolution, because it gave itself a month off from the

2006-01-07T21:17:00.000-06:00

Prominently featured: A Jackburger and Fried Mushroom BallsHello, kids. Long time no blog. I would say that I've missed it, but it would be a lie. Besides, upwards of half my readership is currently in the same house that I'm in; they're fully aware that I have spent every day for the past three weeks getting up at 11 and then either reading or advancing my love affair with Horatio

2005-12-14T02:41:00.000-06:00

It is, however, frickety snowing AGAINIt's 2:45 a.m. I'm watching Bill Nye the Science Guy, eating a snickerdoodle, and working on my kick-ass Christmas card.Being done with the first semester of graduate school is awesome.

2005-12-04T00:18:00.001-06:00

Erin's Recipes for People Who Can't Cook: Why yes I am procrastinating versionSo in a continuing wallowing theme, I had an urge to make something chocolate tonight, and I decided to pull a bedraggled scrap of paper out of my wallet. Said piece of paper bore a recipe for Easy Chocolate Truffles that Eileen, the massage therapist at my former(ish) place of work gave me. Unfortunately, she gave it

2005-12-03T02:31:00.000-06:00

I promise I will wait until I am in a better mood to write themI forgot one thing. If you want a Christmas card from me, you should send me your address, since chances are good I don't have it. This is especially true if I don't know you. I highly recommend sending me your address, because I have a kick-ass idea for a Christmas card, and there is a long tradition of awesome Christmas cards in my

2005-11-27T22:27:00.000-06:00

"Frozen Testicles" would also be a good name for a band. As would "Cavernous Bellybutton."Here is what my family thinks is quality entertainment: getting up at 4 a.m. to stand in line for 20 minutes in 14-degree weather and talk about my sister's bellybutton. Seriously. I laughed really hard.So we decided this year that we were going to do the Black Friday thing. My parents and sister came to

2005-11-20T21:51:00.000-06:00

A zillion years laterThanksgiving break is here, except for the part where it's not so much a break as "finals." I have nine days (well, seven, now) to write two papers and an untold number of journal entries. Let me tell you, woe is me indeed. Especially since I haven't been doing much school work these first two days, and my apartment still has to be cleaned for when my parents and sisters

2005-11-08T00:13:00.000-06:00

In which the following things are mentioned: incest, cannibalism, bastards, hell, technicolor pig slippersSo November is shaping up to be de los muertos, and I'm not talking about All Souls' Day. I spent this weekend writing another theory paper and generally trying to map out a strategy for the rest of the semester, which i going to be...challenging, to put it euphemistically.In other news...

2005-10-23T20:01:00.001-05:00

Erin's Recipes for People Who Can't Cook: Bean PotI'm pretty sure this, like Tater Tot Casserole, falls under the heading of White Trash Cuisine, but I like it and it's easy, so why not?1 lb. ground beef1 med. onion, diced3 15-oz. cans pork and beans (pork optional)3/4ish c. brown sugar (I hate things that call for 3/4 c. because I don't have a 3/4 c. measure. I usually just eyeball it in a 1 c.

2005-10-19T22:26:00.000-05:00

At this point, the World Series is just frostingHa! My siblings aren't answering their phones right now. They spent all season riding me about how my Astros were games and games behind their Cardinals, and now...well, as I told my brother, winning the division doesn't mean much if you can't win the pennant.This is particularly sweet as my sister took evil glee in calling me Monday night when

2005-10-18T00:42:00.000-05:00

Stop the university, I want to get offSo this whole grad school experience has taken a sharp turn for the difficult this week, as things start moving inexorably toward finals in a very ominous way. Ominous like having two presentations in one day—I'll be dead after Tuesday, so if you've got something to say, say it now. Some notes:Panopticon is a funny wordI don't know if you've ever read

2005-10-10T00:06:00.000-05:00

Strange magicI've had the same loaf of Wal-Mart brand wheat bread since the first week I moved to Iowa City, and IT HAS NOT MOLDED YET.I don't know if that's awesome or extremely suspicious.

2005-10-04T18:02:00.000-05:00

PainfulThe WB just ran a promo spot for Supernatural in which they flashed quotes from reviews over clips of the show. Pretty standard. Unfortunately, one of the quotes was "OMG." "OMG"? May I just say "WTF"? Who's reviewing this show, John Q. Teenager? Some kid with a blog and a shaky grasp on sentence structure? "OMG" is not a credible review. And it's not even obviously positive, there, WB

2005-10-02T01:58:00.000-05:00

Some things I was told tonight when I got my aura readMy friend S. had a party tonight, at which her friend N., whom I've met twice, was persuaded (by me) to read my aura. (He mentioned this ability when I first met him.) See what you think, and I'll give you my opinion at the bottom.1. I'm physically pretty healthy "compared to most people in graduate school." Whatever that means.*2. My

2005-09-21T21:29:00.000-05:00

This post is about sex!Not really. Only in so far as everything in Freud is about sex.Okay, so I'm getting ready to write a paper about Freud and dream analysis and theory, and I thought I would do a little thinking out loud, as it were. Or weren't.So, here is how dreams work, in a nutshell. First, there are three levels of the mind. Later, Freud will come to call them the id, the ego, and the

2005-09-19T23:29:00.000-05:00

Point of EtiquetteOkay, is there a way to compliment your professors without sounding really marginal? Because I have two professors who wear just outstandingly excellent shoes, and since I'm a firm believer in positive feedback, I'd like to mention my approval. I just haven't figured out how. "Dr. L.,* can I discuss this grade with you? Also, nice shoes. Really top notch." And since it's grad

2005-09-15T13:45:00.001-05:00

Erin's Recipes for People Who Can't Cook: Beef Stroganoff1 lb. ground beef1 med. onion1/2 tsp. pepper2 tbsp. flour1/2 tsp. garlic salt8 oz. canned mushrooms1 can (10 1/2 oz.) cream of mushroom soup8 oz. light sour cream2/3 bag egg noodles (wide)Chop up onion. There are varying theories about how you can do this without making your eyes water, but forget it. Spoon in your mouth, chewing gum,

2005-09-14T23:43:00.000-05:00

The mish-mash. The MONSTER mish-mash!Don't date midgets, boysThere are three German guys that ride the bus at the same time I do on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I love them. They're hilarious, not only because they're cute and European, but because they have no idea that I can understand everything they're saying to each other, including their commentary about the mysterious Amy, who's cute if you

2005-09-11T01:39:00.000-05:00

Interesting facts I have learned in class so farGeoffrey Chaucer, author of The Canterbury Tales, was accused of rape in 1380. This is weird, given his generally empowering view of the female gender."Satyagraha," Gandhi's program of passive resistance, actually means "truth-force," and is, like most foreign words in my South Asian Lit class, impossible to pronounce. (Suh-tee-gruh, with the last "

2005-09-03T23:33:00.000-05:00

Everybody says cut my hairI have a new hairstyle. It's nothing drastic—if you saw me right now, you might not even notice. I've got the new swoopy bangs that are all the rage with the kids right now. Mine swoop to the left and are aaaaalmost long enough to tuck behind my ear.Anyway, having the new bangs is not so terribly interesting (unless you're like me and you CANNOT stop playing with your

2005-08-29T00:46:00.001-05:00

NEW FEATURE: Erin's Recipes for People Who Can't CookAs I have discussed on more occasions than I care to link to here, I am a special kind of dumb in the kitchen. So when something actually chances to work out (that isn't a pan of brownies or some sort of powdered macaroni item), I like to share with you the process so you can either (1) make some use of the information or (2) laugh at me.So

2005-08-28T21:08:00.000-05:00

I'm a new graduate student, so here are some LISTSThings I had to read this weekend, which is the first weekend after classes started, mind youSouth Asian Literature: Four articles (~100 pp.), plus 80 pp. of Waiting for the Mahatma by R.K. Narayan (done)Theory and Criticism: Four passages from De Sassure's Course in General Linguistics (~60 pp., bonus for REALLY boring and also somewhat pointless

2005-08-23T13:05:00.000-05:00

The Making of Dr. N.N. MindI’m back, whee!I actually only have a few minutes before I have to catch the bus for my next class (Introduction to Literary Theory), but I thought I would get everybody as up-to-date as I can.I settled in, by and large, although there’s one box in the kitchen that I just haven’t been able to bring myself to unpack, so it’s still sitting in the middle of the floor. Lyra

2005-08-02T11:00:00.000-05:00

We were ON a BREAK!If you hadn't noticed, Dr. N.N. Mind is taking a short haitus from posting. I'm in the process of finishing up my life in Houston so I can move on to graduate school. I hope to be back sometime in the third week of August, perhaps with an entirely new and exciting design. See you then.

2005-07-12T18:35:00.000-05:00

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n."Today has been a shitty day.Well, that's not entirely true. It was going along pretty decently there for awhile; I was getting some work done, listening to good music, and I had a nice lunch. And then about 4 o'clock someone made a random comment to me (I won't repeat it because it was entirely too contextual

2005-07-05T16:09:00.000-05:00

"This is the true story of two people, picked to work in an office..."Erin: I did thoroughly enjoy Slate saying the French have got to go.M!: Yeah - the Tour de France would be a lot better with less of the French involved.Erin: As would most things in the world.M!: Indeed.Erin: Maybe we just need to start paying more attention to the Giro d'Italia.M!: That might be a way to go.Erin: I like the

2005-06-27T21:01:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to suspect that ABC 13 has pyromaniacal tendenciesI've gotten in the habit of watching Good Morning America as I get ready for work, which is fine. It's the romance novel of news programs, to be sure, but it's fairly decent background noise while I'm putting in my contacts and changing clothes three times. However, GMA is interrupted at 7:55 and 8:25 for local news.I'm starting to

2005-06-23T22:11:00.000-05:00

Some ListsWords and Phrases I've Been Overusing LatelyTrue story/sad storyGeneral malaiseBad news bearsChiefI'm going to stab [you, him, them, that guy if he does that one more time, I swear].AcesInteresting (Bonus: generally used when I'm not at all interested)(C) Bite meOh, LordyGood griefSlash, i.e. "I'm going to eat this...slash throw it at you.Reasons My Sister and I Could Be Twins,

2005-06-20T11:42:00.000-05:00

Dude, I really hope your technique's improved between then and nowDid you have that phase in elementary school where you faked being sick a lot so you didn't have to go? (I realize it's not so much a "phase" for some people, but I was an overachiever; I knew it couldn't last that long without going on the dreaded Permanent Record.) I had this phase when I was eight. It was not because I didn't

2005-06-15T14:32:00.000-05:00

Poll: How can I be more punk rock? Or at least less 80-year-old woman with too many cats?So, given that I have been thinking about doing one or all of these things at least since high school, which of these do you endorse, or if you can't be positive, hate the least?A. Blue or green streaks in my hairB. New piercing: earsC. New piercing: eyebrowD. New piercing: somewhere slightly more scandalousE

2005-06-10T23:25:00.000-05:00

May 10, 1933. Ring a bell, gentlemen?So evidently some mental midgets in the right wing (do I repeat myself? Probably) have compiled a list of the Ten Most Dangerous Books of the 19th and 20th Century.By and large, I'm not really shocked by any of the titles on the list; they're about what you'd expect from the Far Right: The Communist Manifesto, The Feminine Mystique,, and, amusingly, The Kinsey

2005-06-06T09:10:00.000-05:00

The only drug dealer I've ever had a problem with wears a white lab coatSo CVS is taking over the world. For those of you that live in an area that hasn't been invaded (like, say...France. Oh, wait, France = invasion, always. Okay, Pola—...Russ—...Antarctica), CVS is a ubiquitous pharmacy that bought out Eckerd last year and now you can't turn around without smacking into one. In the past year

2005-06-02T12:29:00.000-05:00

I also feel hot, and not in that good "these are cute new pants" wayLong time no update, hm? This is what happens when you go out of town and then come back to a desk full of actual work and two trainees. As I said yesterday, it's like having the work equivalent of a toddler and a newborn, plus my own job.Anyway, yes. Last weekend was my brother's wedding, which was less of a catastrophe than I

2005-05-16T16:54:00.000-05:00

A brilliant tip (plus, shiny)Okay, if you are on a budget but you need wrapping paper, here is my advice: get a giant roll of plain silver. Silver wrapping paper will get you through every possible situation. It's good for birthdays, Christmas, weddings, Hanukkah, and graduation. All ribbon colors match it, so you can put whatever you want on there.I have three rolls of wrapping paper—one

2005-05-11T09:22:00.000-05:00

Bubble tea and birthdays will be the exceptionsShameful: I have "The Greatest Love of All" stuck in my head. Fortunately it's the version Joe sings at graduation in Say Anything, but still.But this is not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the Month of No Eating Out.The Month of No Eating Out starts today, and it's going to be pretty much what I said. A month. Where I don't

2005-05-09T21:23:00.000-05:00

Thank God I am going to grad school soon and will have something worthwhile to do with my evenings againTonight I sat on my couch and tried to teach myself that card trick where you hold them in one hand, bend them, and then shoot them to the other hand. To the shock of only my cats, I am very, very bad at it.Sometimes I like to think about possible back-up careers in case I flunk out of grad

2005-05-07T14:04:00.000-05:00

The Summer Reading List 2005These are the books I want to read before I stop getting to read what I want again. If everything goes according to plan, you'll get a fun little book report every so often. Let me know if you read one of these and want to discuss. It'll be our own little book club, whee!Lost by Gregory MaguireThe Crimson Petal and the White by Michel FarberHarry Potter and the

2005-05-03T10:52:00.000-05:00

Following up the gross with the randomI got a new computer at work last Monday, which was totally exciting because I didn't think I was going to get one of the five new ones they'd ordered for our department. But I did, so yay! The best part of this computer is that it came with a flat-panel monitor that I turned on its side so I could see an entire page of whatever book I'm working on. The worst

2005-04-26T21:32:00.000-05:00

In which I make my mother ashamed of me again, but my sister is happy because I've finally posted some shit (*rimshot*)Warning: this post discusses bodily functions and is probably WAY more information than you ever wanted. Seriously. I only posted it because my sister said I needed to write something, and then informed me that she had to poop. It sort of took off from there. You've been

2005-04-18T16:46:00.000-05:00

I am Catholic! Stop predending that I'm not! Do I have to recite the Hail Mary RIGHT HERE?Often I try my material out at work before posting it here. This has been certified giggle-worthy by my co-workers. If it's not funny, blame them.I've been thinking about the Pope lately, as I must, since I am Catholic. This Catholic thing, by the way, was apparently kind of a shock to my co-workers, who had

2005-04-13T00:07:00.001-05:00

Heart-Attack Bread PuddingAdapted from Chef Michael Babb's recipe, with apologies. Makes two 8x8 bread puddings.1 stale muffin1 French baguette, long (the kind that sticks out of bags in movies)11 eggs2 c. whipping cream3 c. half-and-half2 c. sugar (half brown, half granulated)2 Tbsp. vanilla1 tsp. cinnamon plus enough to dust top of puddings8 cubes white chocolate bark, chopped until the pile

2005-04-12T21:30:00.000-05:00

I should get my own Food Network series: "The Blind Feeding the Blind"What's a good toy for a nine-month-old kitten? If you said "stale muffin," you win! She's currently batting it about the kitchen. It's a very bad muffin. Blueberries make you evil. Tonight I made heart-attack bread pudding, which involves 11 eggs, a pint of whipping cream, a pint and a half of half-and-half, and an accidental

2005-04-11T09:10:00.000-05:00

The moment you've all been waiting for (ish)University of Iowa.

2005-03-27T18:01:00.000-06:00

An object lesson: Lies of omission are just as bad as lies of commissionYesterday it was my birthday,Hung one more year on the line.I should be depressed,My life's a mess,But I'm havin' a good time—Paul Simon, "Have a Good TimeMy birthday was this week—I turned 24 on the 23rd. All things told, it was pretty underwhelming, which, you know, not surprising considering that it was on a Wednesday and

2005-03-27T08:40:00.000-06:00

Extra awesomeProfessionally made sign staked in the median at Fairview and Montrose this morning:"Hey you, in the red truck. Shave your mustache."Can the person who had this sign made please call me? I have a marriage proposal for you.

2005-03-23T20:38:00.000-06:00

"But I want to talk about it now!"I don't know where I was when The Poisonwood Bible came out (well, that's a lie, it was 1997 and I was in high school in Wayne), but I just got around to reading it last week, and let me tell you, it is the most awesome thing ever. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up. If you're normal, though, you'll have read it eight years ago. In eight

2005-03-20T23:23:00.000-06:00

Here's some lead. Please apply liberally to your right foot.I don't usually claim any affinity with Texans or their Texany ways, but being in Missouri has made me appreciate one thing about them: they don't drive like 80-year-old grandmothers whose 7 p.m. bedtime is fast approaching. Move it along, Missourians! I'm not getting any younger.I've spent a fair amount of time behind the wheel this

2005-03-18T11:18:00.000-06:00

How great is free wireless internet?A: So great, especially when combined with a blueberry muffin (unfortunately not free).I'm in Missouri, being wooed by a couple of graduate schools and generally running around like a crazy person. I have to leave for class in 5 minutes, but I thought I would briefly wax enthusiastic about the great parts of this trip: driving a Jeep Grand Cherokee, having

2005-03-16T21:48:00.003-06:00

Equipped to kick your assFor David, who asked for it and who will have no one to nag him until TuesdayDo people not understand that if they can't spell, I can't give them my money? Honestly, I don't think it's that difficult a concept.I was walking by the door of a cell phone shop in our building the other day, and this is the sign on their door that caught my eye: "Equipt for Business: Nextel."

2005-03-09T22:45:00.000-06:00

The Elegant Put-DownPBS donation solicitor during Nova: The Elegant Universe: Right now, the two of us are watching something fascinating.Me: Hey! I could be watching this with somebo—yeah, no I couldn't. Good work, PBS.

2005-03-09T12:59:00.000-06:00

Sleep Notes (R Rating, so beware [although it's probably only PG or PG-13 if you're European])Group of guys standing below my window at 12:30 a.m.: as much as I like eavesdropping, for the love of Pete. Shut. UP. You are grossing me out—I don't need to hear about your marginal sexual escapades when I am trying to sleep. Or ever, really. Especially you, Yelling Guy. There's no way your girlfriend.

2005-03-02T22:24:00.000-06:00

Someday I'm just going to get smacked by a strangerExchange between a couple at the blood-pressure cuff in Target:Him: Just put your arm in it.Her: Okay. Don't squeeze it!Him, patronzing: I'm not going to squeeze it, but it's going to squeeze. That's how it works, it's got to press to get a reading.Her: Don't press that twice! Him: Calm down.Her: I don't-Him: And no talking!Her: Don't tell me not

2005-02-23T13:38:00.000-06:00

Some listsProducts I would like to endorseI'll endorse them for free, but if you want to pay me money, by all means.1. Downy Wrinkle Release. I know, it sounds like a scam, but it is the BEST THING EVER. Spray your crushed-by-the-cat-in-the-worst-possible-way shirt, hang it up, and go to sleep. When you get up in the morning, ta-da! Unwrinkled shirt.* Cat hair will still be affixed, however,

2005-02-15T21:18:00.001-06:00

Although the Diamond Shamrock All-Stars might suggest otherwiseI think I'm not really attractive enough to live in my neighborhood.I went to the laundromat tonight, where Tuesday is evidently Hot Guys Night. Multiple hot guys came into the laundromat while I was there, some to pick up dry cleaning, some to do eight bazillion loads of indeterminate color. (Is this a guy thing, the not sorting?)

2005-02-14T23:43:00.000-06:00

"Happy Valentine's Day and all that MUSHY [crap]."What the Oscar-the-Grouch Valentine set my boss brought in today said. More or less.Just a quick note obliquely related to Valentine's Day:If you know me, and you think you might ever, at some misty point in the future, have cause to get me flowers, let me assure you: you don't.I can't think of a more pointless gift than flowers, unless it's a...

2005-02-14T10:19:00.000-06:00

You know who else better not hold their collective breath? The cats.Most bizzare feeling ever: being offered over a quarter of a million dollars in two weeks but knowing that it assures your poverty for the next five years. It just doesn't quite add up.I applied to nine graduate schools, including one school that I was almost sure would reject me and two that would certainly accept me, no matter

2005-02-03T19:23:00.000-06:00

Proof that the internet is, in fact, an addictive substance As I write, at this very moment, I am walking on my treadmill. I know. I'm the coolest person ever. The story of me and the computer and the treadmill isn't particularly interesting; it just involves extreme boredom while exercising on my part and an excess of loose lumber on my apartment's, plus inspiration from this article that my

2005-02-01T14:57:00.000-06:00

Nobody says "I love you" My mother decided over Christmas that she had permanently ruined her children. This idea is my sister's fault, and not just because this sister (E3) is intermittently insane. No, my sister informed my mother that we weren't affectionate enough as a family. She has a point, especially if you're into attachment parenting or some other newfangled, New Age, non-Midwestern

2005-01-30T21:31:00.000-06:00

Two Lists Things my apartment has swallowed recently My black Dockers Bottle of Woolite Roll of Scotch tape Garden State soundtrack A pair of black dangly earrings My GRE scores (set 2) Blue fountain pen Stupid things I have done in the kitchen Forgot a bottle of wine in the freezer, causing it to explode Dropped an egg and tried to catch it against the cupboard with my knee Melted a spatula

2005-01-25T22:15:00.000-06:00

"I'm just the single guy; there are no other guys attached to me." Married people, I don't know if you remember this from when you were single, but being friends with a couple is nothing like being friends with a single person. Maybe you get a brochure on this when you are married, like, "you will no longer be an independent entity for social purposes; everybody will expect you consult your